Who owns my heart?

"The way you got your body move has me confused" - Miley C.

Thanks giving breeeaaakkk! I need this break, but gosh am i missing everyone. Like i don't a certain someone who is ..k its Bryce. I just have a crush its all good. Austin and I broke up.
I'm going to make this short sorry i really don't feel like typing.

Just leave me speechless

My oh my time flies. You have no idea how much i need to tell you guys, this whole being grounded ordeal is not working out. No phone no internet IS killing me. Hahaha now i have you wondering why "how are you on now?" Well i told my mom i had to do homework which i did but i finished it so i thought would sneak on here and get you guys updated.
First of all I got my drivers license, so that mean driving around in my diesel truck of a mustang. My boyfriend always makes fun of it, but deep down i know he secretly likes it. Also yes Morgan you are not forever alone anymore. No its not Jordan nor Matt or anyone I would have guessed. Its Austin...ya he looks like Justin Bieber.  Now I sound like I'm 13 lol Whateverrr he does. We have this thing where he called me Taylor (taylor swift0 which in my opinion I look like Fergie just sayin. Umm what else is new...nothing really went back to West Platte I am over whelmed with studying for Tests. I have one tomorrow four on Friday. All i can say is atleast I have a social life!! lol I am not meant to be home schooled. I would never take it back, but at the same time never again.
Tumblr still amazing. Flame still my baby yet noddy and has a dominate problem. Wanda sold Cody (the pony) and is shutting down the boarding business. I think Dick is retiring ...I honestly hope nothing more happens.  Like no more Okamont all together :'( I hate to think about it but its always on my mind.
Also haters gonna hate. If you have haters you must be doing something right. If they try to bring you down, its only because your above them. I always have to keep this in mind, girls can be so catty and such bitches.
To be honest my relationship with God isn't the best. I am working on though. It really sucks public school just drains me of everything. When I was homeschooled I was so close to him now its like I feel guilty to even pray. I haven't done anything HUGE its just the little things that add up like not praying :/
Thursday (tomorrow better go by fast!) Friday school day as well. because Friday night Austin and I get to hang out. (hopefully)

"because when I'm riding, all i feel is free"

Did chorus around the barn, I got there at eight and left around five. I ended up getting done a little early so, I rode Flame bareback with a bridal and we cantered around the arena. It was so amazing the music that was being played was perfect<3. I can't wait until we can just take off in a field. During my lunch break I cantered with Buck in the soft saddle. (His canter is amazing, so easy to ride) I guess he was feeling good because he tried to buck. I could tell he was happy. Most of the little kids work with him, he doesn't really get pasted the slow trot with them lol. I also ended up riding Cody, the barn pony who is like 12 hands. We rode outside in his pasture bareback with just a halter and trotted around. I must have looked so funny on him considering I'm 5'9 1/2 haha. So I guess today was pretty good. Although I know I'm going to be sore tomorrow!

Asswagon? is that really his last name?!

Uhh yeah some guy on facebook's last name is Asswagon. lmao. Me and Ashley found this out at the water park when we were facebook creepin while tanning. Moves like Jagger by Marron 5 ft. Christina Aguilera, is amazing I love that song. Plus My father said that tonight we can drive my car to the gas station on the back country roads to get drinks for tomorrow. Last Saturday I was so dizzy and almost passed out. I swear its been super hot this summer, but its better then ten inches of snow!
Moving on today was pretty good. Joshie and I messed around at church racing threw the halls ways like eight year olds it was pretty fun I must admit xD We were there to paint the little kids area. My tag on my shirt is inc the freak out of me!!!! mmmk I'm better. I honestly don't feel like typing sorry guys.

►

Swimming above water.

Okay so I just looked over my blog/layout and it looks pretty depressing and deep. I didn’t mean for it to turn out this way. It used to be pink and have Taylor Swift lyrics believe it or not. My thoughts are very scattered to night so I'm going to type whatever comes to my head. First of Tumblr is going really slow. I want to take my car out for a drive but no. I just got back from mowing the lawn for two and a half hours. PLEASE just let me drive my car down the freakin road parents of mine. Umm Jordan is constantly on my mind so I thought I'd throw him in there. Tomorrow I am going to the water park with Ashley and Josh. Then out for brunch with the family for my grandparents birthdays. Uhh oh yeah ealier today I went to the barn. Put a fan up in Flame's stall so he won't get so hot and sweaty. We rode in the indoor arena for like ten minutes then we both were sweating and we only trotted once. So we moved outside were there was a nice breeze. He did really good until my trainer/b.o's air conditioner came on causing him to freak and me pull really hard on his mouth to keep  my balance. Poor baby :(  My mom is in the shower right now. While I am waiting for her to get out so i can get in. Until then I shall smell like grass and horses. Not a bad mix..i guess.

peace.love
Morgan <3

She just wants to feel wanted.

My head is just not where its suppose to be.
I don't understand why these things keep happening to me.
It felt so right
How did it turn into a thunder storm?
The bright light is blinding my sight.
Get ready for the fight of your little life.
Cause when the thunder roars.
When the rain pelts on my face.
I come alive and remember the day you saved me.
Oh Lord, come into to me.
Lift me up off my feet, I need you here.
I'm stuck so deep.
This world is full of lies.
Nothing I do is right.
Maybe I should take a leap, of faith.
Trust my hear on to you.
Oh Lord, come into to me.
Take me away to a place I belong.
(C) Morgan C. July 2011

There is no way to describe what I'm feeling. I failed my driving test again and have to send some crap off to the state asking them what I should do next. Then Shelbi wants to go ride Flame at the barn. I say "H*** no!"  Now Jordan is ignoring me and pretends he doesn't even know me. I doubt he can say he didn't feel anything when we were together? I'm on my period so obviously that helps nothing.
URGH! I just see all theses couples every where I look! I swear I'm gonna be forever alone. FOREVER. Why can't the right guy come and sweep me off my feet? You can't help who you like and don;t like, but my feels are there for a reason.

Lonely Nation - Switchfoot.

"Lonely Nation"

She turns like the ocean
She tells no emotion
She's been gunning down the fight

She's just reminiscing
Blood, sweat, and one thing's missing
She's been breaking up inside, inside

Singing without tongues
Screaming without lungs
I want more than my lonely nation
I want more than my lonely nation
Desperate we are young
Seperate we are one
I want more than my desperation
I Want more than my lonely nation

We are the target market
We set the corporate target
We are slaves of what we want
We're just not amused
And we're just used to bad news
We are slaves of what we want

Singing without tongues
Screaming without lungs
I want more than my lonely nation
I want more than my lonely nation
Desperate we are young
Seperate we are one
I want more than my desperation
I Want more than my lonely nation

Lonely, lonely

Don't leave me hollow
I'm tired
Don't leave me hollow
I'm tired of feeling low
Of feeling hollow
I'm tired of feeling low
Of feeling hollow
I'm tired of feeling low
Of feeling hollow
I'm tired of feeling low
Of feeling hollow
Of feeling hollow
Of feeling hollow

Singing without tongues
Screaming without lungs
Want more than my desperation
I want more than my lonely nation
Desperate we are young
Separate we are one
I want more than my lonely nation
I want more than my lonely nation
I want more than my lonely nation
I want more than my lonely nation 

Days on end

I just feel depressed and I can't explain why. Its just this over welming feeling that no matter what I do it never goes away. Maybe for a few moments, but then it comes back and shatters my good mood. I guess it doesn't help that I'm tired, the back of my knee hurts and i have butt load of chores to do. I have an ace bandage on my knee, but I still want to go riding Flame today and work on dressage. When I think about it I'm not really sure what happended to my knee its like a sharp pain when ever i bend it. Well atleast its better then it was yesterday.   I think I need to go to the Chiropractor. My lower back has been aching and my neck gets a sharp pain when I turn it to the right or left. :/ I'm just full of complains today and the worst part is its only eleven in the morning.

My grandparents are supose to be coming over today. Hopefully if my grandma does freak out about my knee I can ask my grandpa to take me out to the barn. I wish my dad was home from work...speaking about my dad! Yesterday we got him an xbox for fathers day. He loved it :D Wich I knew he would anyways lol.

I'm sorta in a writing mood. I just don't know what to write about. I love role play games, but when i don;t feel like writing my post turn into crap. Then all the other rpgers get upset because you haven't posted in days. then they join other rpgs and forget about you all together. I think I should just listen to Switchfoot and sit outside or maybe walk up to the mail box with sweetpea. Then the question is what do i do after that? I need to keep  myself busy so I don't have time to think. Or read my bible. that always seems to help.

Hello Hurricane, you can't silence my love.

Again sorry for the lack of posting, I've been threw a roller coaster of whats called life. Lets start off with after I lied to my parents about being at Nathan's and Jordan's, I snuck out with Whitney out the basement door and we talked for about five minutes or less until we heard a toe truck coming for her car. So we both took off running to her car and she ran like half way down the gravel road we're her car was. I stood there at the edge of our property and the road my eyes were like deers just gazing at her shadow like figure moving and the high lights of the truck. I freaked out and was sure I would some how get caught that night so I took off running as fast as I could back to the basement door and up to my room. Where I lied in bed texting her and fell asleep. Woke up the next morning to a clear skies and ready for a full day of work. The next few days went by slow, until  June 7th were my mom and dad found out I snuck out. My father broke my phone in half and knocked the henges off my door. They took my desktop and iPod put them in a box and stuffed them in the back of my dad's car. They also took my car away, but they ended up getting it fixed anyway. Tonight I just got my desk top back and my car :) So YAYA. Although my dad is considering shuting off the internet and not even having cell phones. Which scares the crap out of me. If I don't have the internet I will die, I repeats WILL die. My phone I could careless, yet not because how would I be able to call someone if my car broke down or if I get raped in a parking lot? Maybe I just have really bad anxiety. I don't know what to think any how.

Tonight I just got back from spending the night with my trainer/B.O. It was such a blast!! My friends also stayed the night one night and I stayed a extra night. It was such an amazing feeling waking up and looking outside right to the barn. Although the  best part was seeing Flame's papers and my trainer/B.O got me copies of it. And holy molely Flames show name isn't "Tame The Flame" its "Tame The Fame". I was shocked so this means his barn name should have been Fame not Flame. lol I think Flame fits him muchhhh better. I also got to see a photo of when he was baby colt. HE WAS ADORABLE. That little white nose, so cute XD I'm obsessed with him if you couldn't tell. I feel like every time I go out there our relationship just grows. Pretty soon its gonna be a full bloomed rose. Until then I will work on his additude. My trainer/B.O also said he has so much talent! Also if we show it will be the first show for the both of us :D He's just something else, I couldn't live without. Tomorrow I get to go back out there and work all day. Ohh and we also got a new boarder today. She toured the barn and BAM she wanted to bring her horse out asap. So I'm excited to meet Rocky the new horse and his owner.

As for right now I'm going to read my bible and read "Power of a praying teen" :) Then listen to my iPod until i fall asleep. As much as I loved being at the barn and all. There still is no place like home. I know SweetPea missed me thats for sure. She's snuggling on my lap keeping me warm. Even though its like 80 outside and muggy. lol

Good Night.
Morgan Elizabeth <3

Theses burning tears, show my fears.

I hate it when you think life couldn't get any better then this! What could possible go wrong? Then theres the fall down, when you think could my life get any worst then this? How did it go so wrong when it was going so right! I'm having one of those times. Everything is so much better when Whitney's here. I'm not even allowed to talk to her. Why? well lets see in my parents eyes. I had sex with a guy and lied to them were I was. Then there like "OH, YOU LOST ARE TRUST!!! YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DO ANYTHING!!! BITCH" Okay maybe not bitch, but still. In my eyes all i did was lie to my parents and told them Whitney and I were at zona(shopping mall) when we were really over at her guy friends. Who just happened to have a younger brother why age. We didn't have sex or anything!! Not even held hands, we just sat by each other and we did flirt. I will admit he's not the greatest of guys, but in my heart if he found someone who loved him dearly and would do anything for him. He would change and be perfect. I was just hoping that i was going to be that someone. But now its never going to happen. He hasn't even add me on Facebook and its been like two weeks going on three.  I hate being held down, if my parents would just leave me alone and let me do what I'm gonna do I wouldn't have to lie in the first place. Oh haha yeahhhhhhh i don't even have my phone :\ Life just kicked me as hard as it could in the ass. I'm so angry, pissed, frustrated, depressed, upset. Just everything you would never want to feel. Welp, cheers to being sixteen ..right?

Steady feet don't fail me now.

I just..its just. I'm suppose to be happy. I have everything I could want. A job, leasing Flame, Whitney's back home, a car. Not just any care a 98' Mustang convertible. *sigh* I'm not though...I feel like crying and breaking down. I'm not pmsy or anything. I'm just so unsure. Bisk. I don't know who i am. I don't know what I want. No matter what I have I'm never happy. Well. Being 15 wasn't what I thought it would be. Its..more of being unsure and confused then I have ever felt. I'm so used to being confident now..I'm everything but that. Now I think if I had someone to cuddle with and tell me its going to be okay, that I'll be happy. I know I won't I just want hope a  reason to like myself. I WANT TO BE PERFECT. that is what i deep down really want more then anything. I said it perfect! that is what I want.

Shake it to the moon.

I officially have a farmers tan xD I was outside mowing and weed waking at the barn to day. I'm so super tired, so I'm giving you a heads up this post is going to be short. Here are some made things i want to share with you guys. Number one, my birthday is in 12 days. Here I come Sweet sixteen :D Number two, I will be working with Lighting (aka: pony face) this Summer. His owner no longer will have time to train him. I think he's only five as well. So, he and I have some work to do. Number three, Yes Flame is still going to be my baby. After all I am leasing him xD I groomed him today as well.
Okay so goodnight, I'm going to pee and listen to music with my windows open until I fall asleep. I also rearranged my room to where yo can lay in bed and look up at the stars!

Stuck in a world no longer turning.

Dear Flame, Sometimes I forget to breathe around you, because you take my breath away. ♥

Okay i would to start off with the fact that I'm burning hot. I think its time to open up the windows! Right now I'm hearing to the sound of crickets and frogs outside my window. With Natasha Bedingsfield beautiful voice singing to wild horses. I'm smelling the smell of the outdoors and a little bit of mango lotion. I'm psychically feeling the the key board beneath my fingers and the ruff chair under me. I'm mentally feeling a little over whelmed, because I have a lot of school work to caught up on and my room needs to be cleaned. Excited because I get to work at the farm tomorrow and see Flame <3. I'm feeling some anxiety because what if I don;t get up on time tomorrow and I'm late for work?  I'm wearing my Rolex sky blue horse jumping shirt from 6th grade xD and grey shorts from 6th grade (i think there from 6th.) I'm bare foot and have my hair in a mess bun with a head band holding back my bangs. I'm thinking about Flame, Tumblr and my family and iTunes. Plus a bunch of random other thoughts. There's the update to this very second.

Wednesday and Thursday, I rode Flame with the saddle and bridle. Which we haven't done in a few months. My balance is getting better so I'm working at mastering the trot now. When I'm riding bare back I can turn around in circles on him and he doesn't even care. Then dismount by sliding off the back of him. xD Back to my main point. So we were working at the trot and he kept walk trot a few steps walk. He tired to buck me off, but I sat down after posting. He's rusty and so am I so this should be an interesting journey. After an hour and A half he was trotting all the way around the arena. (I still have to smooch the hold time and squeeze with my legs) Thursday, we worked on the same thing only warmed up back back them add the saddle and trotted. He tried to buck me off again because he wasn't trotting when I asked him to I squeezed hared and hit his withers then he flew into a super bumpy fast trot lets see if you can stay on kinda trot. Then he was all like fine thats not working and he put his ears back and his head down and to the side. I sat down from posting and made him come to a halt. I also made him back up a few steps. Flame is also having a problems with staying on the wall. He always wants to wonder off in the middle. As you can tell we have a LOT of work to do.
Wish us luck..really please.

My mom and dad just got back from dinner with my dad's boss for his 20th year working there at his company. I'm proud of him I must say :) Whitney and I watched Hope. (Mostly she did, but I helped as well.)  Tonight we were suppose to have a writing marathon. I don't think thats going to happen though. Considering I have an hour until my computer shuts down and I have to go to bed to get up early tomorrow morning.
Easter is Sunday and my mom and my aunt are in a fight. So, we are not having Easter over at there house like we usually do every year since I was born. Oh well we all are getting older and things happen. I told my mom "There are some people who care, the other are just curious". 

If only that someone was me.

Nothing interesting happened today. I didn't do school, because ...I guess there wasn't a reason I just didn't feel like it. Instead I went to the pawn shop North of town and only got $60 for my keyboard, that I bought for $250. Whatever I'm just not in a good mood. I mowed the lawn and my dad and I ate dinner at Mr.Good cents. Then we picked Hope up at my aunts. Came home took a shower now I'm one here wasting time. I feel ick..like sad. I HATE feeling like this. I want to cry, but nothings comes out. I should be happy..I should love life..I should be counting my blessings. Maybe I'm just pmings or I don't know. I quit doing the 30 day challenge I'm a epic fail waiting to happen so why try. Why isn't my meditation working?  ..May 30th my mom is having back surgery and I'm scared. i want nothing to happen to her. I know I act like I hate her sometimes..but i love her to death. Whitney, moved out Saturday and i miss her so bad. She called for the first time today, I told her I would call her back but I didn't. Things are awkward and weird between my cousins and me. I have no friends at all. All I want is Flame...he loves me no matter what. I love you Flame, your the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Dear Flame,
If only you knew my life was everything less then perfect. I'm scared, stupid, ugly. Everything you could never want. I thank you though for loving me for me. Even on my worst days. You were there for me and I thank you. I promise I will never leave you. My heart aches for that year and a half I left you. I will forever be yours as you will be mine. Flame, your my prince charming and I was so stupid for not seeing that.
Love me.

With out the fear, of the fall down

Day Five, a picture of your favorite memory.

The first time I got to ride <3 

My first day(Saturday aka yesterday) of work was long and labors, but it was good. The beginning of the day felt like it went on forever. It was below freezing and just that night I was starting to get a cold and it was just ewww. You would think it being mid April it wouldn't get so cold. Well thank you anyway cold weather for making my cold worst :/ Anyway, I feed the horses in the morning and took them out to there pastures. At one point I was taking Buck and Lighting (aka: pony face) out at the same time to save time and Lighting was trying to eat grass on the way down and Buck kept crossing in front of me. I think he was just confuses xD Then lighting got frustrated and almost bucked right at me. Until I showed him whose boss and after that he was perfect. Lighting, go the name pony face, because he is Part Welsh Pony and has the cutes face ever. I'll try to get a picture of him to show you guys. (Oh and he is a boarders.) I prepped and sifted eleven stalls. That took about two hours and a half. After I was with the stalls and blowing out the aisles I feed the horses for the after noon. I also ended up getting done an hour early, so I groomed Flame. He was amazing as always and as sweet as ever.


As for today, I ended up crashing on my bed at like nine and didn't wake up until eleven. We ended up not going to church considering it starts at eleven and takes forty five minutes to even get there not even counting the time to get ready. When I got up I watched Amish Grace with my mom. That movie is so sad, yet very sweet at the end. I'm not going to give it away though. We went to town further up north to a pawn store to sell somethings before we move. Turns out the weren't even open on Sundays xD So that was a waste, at least we got drinks and I was able to go ride Flame before the barn closed. Once again he was amazing and just yesterday I groomed him and he was almost black. He was almost as dirty as yesterday, I groomed him and rode bare back. <3 Oh and he jumped over some barrels. My balance isn't there yet or else I would be on him bare back jumping. I'm slowly getting there. Tomorrows Monday my lest favorite day of the week...start school again and beg for rides, so someone can take me out to the barn.

Night. 

Sometimes I feel cold as steel, broken like I'm never gonna heal.

Day Four- A picture of your favorite night. 

The Nebraska county fair, last August the day before school. On the way home when it was raining in the car and I had my iPod blasting music.

Sunday my parents went over to my trainer/B.O to talk about the job. About two hours later they came home and said "Go as you are, you have an interview." I went and they offered me a job working on Saturdays in exchange for co leasing Flame and once lease a month with my Trainer/B.O. Sometimes there are five Saturdays in a month and if i choose to work on those Saturdays i get paid cash. The work I will be doing is cleaning out stalls, morning and after noon feeding. mowing and weed eating. Maybe once I've been working for a while i will be training the boarder horses and riding the schoolies who need work. I start on this Saturday from 8am-5pm :) 


As for today, I will save that for another time...it wasn't the best lets just say.

TODAY IS THE BEST DAY EVER - Spongebob Squarepants.

Day three
A photo of your favorite TV cast.
THE HILLS <333

Yesterday, my sister(Whitney) and I went in our back woods. We followed the creek and walked about three miles. It was so much fun! xD On the way back we jumped in the creek that went up past our knees and had a mug fight. Haha, she got it in my ear so I was freaking out and threw rocks at her because were I was in creek there was no mud. The she threw rotted leafs at me. Our mom was so pissed when we came back. Also on the way back up to our house we found a HUGE patch of wild mini onions. We were gone for about two hours. After we were cleaned up and everything we went to my grandma's house were we ate dinner and Whitney spent the night there again, because she was going down south to see the rest of our family. 

Last night there was a big big big storm and our power went out. This is embarrassing but I'm so scared of thunderstorms and I started crying and hyperventilating.

As for today its super hot like 90's and I have no idea what I'm doing.

Later ...
Today my trainer/B.O called my mom earlier saying she had a job opening for me and wanted my parents to come over tomorrow after church. I'm so excited yet at the same time..I'm starting to question my skills of horses and if I could really handle 24 boarders. What if a horse really gets hurt and I don't know what to do. Or if I start hating work and stop going to the barn all together. Plus the stables is right down the road from my house and if we move I will have to drive 45mins there and such. I don't know what to do.

These times are changing, these days are fading.

Its obvious its been a while since I've blogged. So, instead of explaining I was super busy and such. I thought I would just jump in where I left off at. Sounds Good?..Good :)
Tuesday (March 29th) was my aunt meme's birthday. We went to a Chris Timlen concert, it was amazing!  It felt like God had his hand in the middle of the concert. AHh it was just awesome. Oh and Switchfoot is coming out with a new CD tilted "Vice Verses" They have not released the date yet, but I'm guessing sometime this fall. About a two months ago I went to another concert with my dad it was called "Winter Jam" and like a hole bunch of Christan bands came and played in this HUGE arena. That was amazing too.

Now lets talk about my favorite subject, my horse Flame <3 I feel like the more time I spend with him the more I love him. I also find out that we are more alike then ever. Sometimes I wonder what I'd be like if I was a horse. Then I wonder what Flame would be like if he was human. xD

Facebook challenge day 2
A photo of someone you've been the closest to the longest.
My mommy! She is on the left and I'm on the right.

30 day challenge (day one)

Alright so everybody on facebook is doing this "30 day challenge" and I wanted to join, but some of this stuff is personal and I didn't want any of my so called "friends" to see/read it.
The 30 day challenge is to post a photo of this list.Like example someone you miss and why do you miss them etc.
Yes, I will still be blogging of what non interesting things I did that day. (your welcome xD)

To start off day number one is a photo of yourself and fifteen facts.
three things you like about yourself and three things you wish you could change about yourself.

Things I want to change.
1.) How large my feet are.
2.) that I'm not a people person.
3.) more intelligent.

Things I like.
1.) My hair.
2.) my singing voice.
3.) my writing skills.

Ten Facts
1.) Sometimes I like to pretend I'm shooting a movie in my house and act like its a movie.
2.) I'm addicted to caffeine.
3.) I wish I could see the future.
4.) I think the day I turn sixteen, will fix everything.
5.) I can honestly say I have no idea what I want to major in college.
6.) I strive to be perfect at everything, the first time.
7.) I really like to cook.
8.) Graphic design is away to express myself and put the words in my head to images.
9.) I'm half city slicker, half country. 
10.) When i can't sleep, I write about how I can't sleep and why in my iPod blog.
11.) Soup is my favorite food.
12.) I've changed/grew up more in the last six months then i even thought was possible.
13.) I'm scared to go back to public school, afraid my old friends won't like me because I've changed.
14.) I don't really have any "good" friends I tell everything too.
15.) I really look up to this girl online, but she has no idea who i am. 

Break open the sky.

K so my mother grounded me off of my phone and from JCpennys, because I was being "disrespectful". I mean I admit I was being disrespectful, but if she really wanted to punish me she would ground me off the computer for the weekend. (i hope she never ever reads this.) I feel kinda bad, yet not really and I don't know why. The hole JCpennys grounding was, because before were going to go there and I guess my mom said she was going to get be a Valentines day present, now I don't get one though.

Right now, I just got back from a drive into the town with my dad and when were listening to music and I was driving I noticed thats when I do my  best thinking. Tonight I was thinking about how I wish I could zoom forward to this very day next year and see how my life has changed or how much I have changed. 

I don't really have the much to say tonight. sorry guys.

Wonderin about the road head of me.

Alright finally I can say that today wasn't a normal day. To start off with my mom and I went to LifeWay (Christan store). She was looking a photo of some sort and I went straight to the music section, seeing if Switchfoot had an album I didn't already have. ( they didn't ) After I found that out I started to just look at the selfs and took a step back and BAM my eyes landed on Toby Mac's new CD. I mean like brand new, as of it just came out yesterday <3. So, I grabbed it and started reading the back remembering all the songs I've heard of his. There was about only two songs I had already heard and rest eleven was a mystery to me. After freaking out and people giving me some looks, my mom was done (she found the picture she wanted) we checked out. Just as I thought this couldn't get any better it did! The casher lady told me Toby Mac had a new book out as well. So then again I began to freak out and needed to get home asap to look his book up on the Internet. xD

When we left the store and drove to CVS we listened to the CD. My mom told me she actually likes his music. (I wasn't surprised its Toby Mac xD). Then we ate lunch at Araby's and went home. Pretty good day if I do say so myself and I didn't have school today. I have till September to finish all of it, I do want a Summer though. About a week ago I counted how many lessons I had left then counted how many days it would take me to do them and if I counted right, I should get out May nineteenth. The local school had about a week and a half of snow days and I didn't take any of them off considering I want to get off school for the Summer ASAP. Did I mention the fact that May is my favorite month? Number one My birthday, this year I'll be sixteen and my birthday falls on Friday the thirteenth xD. Number two schools out for the next four months, Number three the weather is amazing and summer is in the next month. :)
Hurry up May :D

More then just okay.

Normal day again.. nothing much to say.
I guess I did watch the new Alice and Wonderland. It was one of those movies were you have to keep remembering what happened in the first one. ( i haven't seen the first one in like six plus years ) It was hard to really understand what was going on. Toward the end though it was like WOW! this is a pretty good movie.
Its hard to take it all in at times. I watched it in HD and it was awesome, breath taking graphics. It amazes me how far we've came in tectonically. :) It also makes me wonder what they're going to come up with in the future.

Here's a poem I wrote today. Or I guess metaphor.

Ferris Wheel
The center of a ferris wheel that holds piece together, is like my heart. 

The wires that stable everything, is like the ones I love.

If one of those wires breaks, the connection is lost forever. 

Sure it can be fixed, bit it will never be the same. 

Lastly the carts that holds the passengers, is like all the memories.

When its all broken down and old the carts are the most valuable. 

And the passengers, are like the time. 

Soon before you realize it the rides over. 

(c) Morgan Allthefadingmemories INC. 2011

Stay here a little while.

Today, was once again normal and boring. School, lunch, more school, make dinner baby sit and finally relax :)

I also worked on my story and finished chapter one. I know its not hole lot but, still I think its turning out pretty good. The name for my story is "1940 love story". It might change, but I've been calling it that for so long..I'm just not sure yet.
My point of the story is not to distract you from the title or by naming chapters its to keep it simple so you the readers can in brace and focus on the story it self.
I'm one of those writers that when I write things they just come to me, so basically this story is in folding in my head as fas as I can type it! Sure, I have a few notes remembering the scenes I need to type. (like the main plot)
I'm thinking about starting chapter two, tonight. Ahh I'm so excited :D My goal by the end of the year is to have this story done and maybe get it sent in to a few publishers. *cross fingers*
Until then I shall keep writing. :)

Night <3.

So, my mom just came in my room asking if I wanted to go some where this weekend. Of course I asked where and she said like over to my aunts house or my grandparents. I'm not up for it though. Yeah i love my aunt/cousins and grandparents. But I was thinking more along the lines of spending the night at my Trainer/B.O's house..but the problem is, I think its super rude to ask someone if they can spend the night at your house when you haven't even invited them. Oh and the fact maybe I haven't seen her or Flame in like a month :/ I'm guessing that rules out that plan.
I do want to get out of the house and spend the night somewhere. Its just all the places here are to close to home or they're just not my idea of "getting away".
My perfect idea of "getting away" would be, taking a long road trip up to Nebraska/Iowa. It would be raining and thunder storming as I looked out the window and pretend I was riding Flame bareback (no saddle)  out in the open fields. Or shooting a movie on Flame in the rain and something sad was happening. All while I listen to music that fit the seen and played it over and over again. Until I got sick of it and could some how I could flash back home grab Flame and ride out an open field bareback, with it still raining but the sun was shinning. Needless to say that idea came to when I was really doing all of that minus the hole flashing back and riding into the sunset xD
I remember perfectly! It was last August and we were driving up to Nebraska/Iowa for my dads business trip and on the way back home there was this HUGE thunder storm and I was riding in the back seat like any other fifteen year old dreading when I got back the first day of school. So , of course I was listening to a sad song already. And the rain + music + moving across the field = <333. In fact I loved it sooooo much I ask my parents if for my sixteenth birthday we could drive up to Nebraska/Iowa. I know they can't make it rain but, I pray it does super hard and my iPods will never die.

I Never knew.

Nothing really interesting was going on today. Woke up drank a cup of coffee like normal, did school from ten to two. Todays classes were pretty short, I ended up not even having History. (there simply wasn't a video for that day.) I had a quiz in Science and another in Geography.
When I got done with school both of parents went to work. Therefore I had the hole house to myself. I watched TV and ate pizza for about two hours. Got on the computer for a while and just hung out, until my dad came home and I made dinner for us.
Oh yes and earlier this morning I called the 4-H center and asked a few questions. I'm really thinking about joining.  Even though I wouldn't be able to compete in the fair, because I didn't sign up last August. Actually I'm fine with that considering I don't think either Flame nor I am ready. I haven't talked to my trainer/B.O about showing him this fall in the competitive trail riding. I also haven't seen her or Flame in a month. :/ I've been super busy with school/family not to mention the weather hasn't helped much. it said we are suppose to get a few inches on Wednesday. *sigh* I guess we will see.

Lost - Michael Buble <3
such a sweet song. :) I clam this my break up song (when i have one xD)

Pickles, were the highlight of my day.

Mahhhh.
So, I'm sure most of you have heard the Steelers lost. Not by much though might I add.

Today, I went over to my cousins house a few house before the game. We ate hung out and watched the show before the Super Bowel. My second cousins also came over, which I was stoked to see them :) I stayed until the fourth quarter then had to go home. I finished watching the game with Sweetpea and ate almost a hole jar of pickles <3
The half time game, um was very disappointing...The Black eyed peas were terrible, Usher was lip singing most of the time. URGH it makes me super mad, I guess the good live performers are hard to come by theses days considering the technology we have. :/ 

Every single dream i dream.

I'm going to make this a fast blog, because I don't fee like writing that much tonight.
With that being said, last night my dad told me he was thinking about getting a Wii. To tell you the truth I thought it was going to be something more important or i don't know what I thought. Who knows if we will end up getting one.

Today, I went out on some errands with my dad, nothing important..until we stopped by the AT&T store and I was allowed to get a new phone. :D And I picked out The Pantech, its so cute almost like a black berry. I ended up getting two covers for it one is purple and the other is black. I choose the black one, because it has this super cool design on back.
Later this evening I watched Social Network, it was over all pretty good, a little hard to follow at first.

Now, I'm just going to veg out on the computer and sob (not really), but my parents are shutting off the internet at like midnight so I can't listen to Pandora anymore on my iPod :/
Time to start ordering CDs again from the Library.

Ohh and the super bowel is tomorrow..GO STEELERS <3 (just sayin)

Fifty thousand feet above me.

I know, I haven't wrote in a while, but I honestly have nothing interesting to say and still don't.
Lately I've just been writing like crazy in role play games (about three hole pages a day) and songs. The song writing is a little harder then just writing. You have to make things rhyme and sometimes they don't always make since to others or to me for that matter. When I do write songs the lines come to me at odd time threw out the day. Like when I'm fixing my hair, listening to music, cooking etc. So, there for in order not to forget anything I keep my iPod in my pocket and write it down on the note pad app. Then when the days all gone I take thoses writing and copy them into word. Right now I just finished a song and have left over lyrics I haven't used. Sometimes I've been noticing the songs will range from, break ups (and i haven't even had one xD) to how terrible I'm feeling or things that make the world go around.

Tonight after I'm done doing "homework" (blogging xD) My dad said he had something to tell me, but he didn't want to tell me in case I got detracted or something like that. I think we might go somewhere, considering I haven't been out of the house in like almost a week. Half of the time it wasn't my fault, two days we all were snowed in.  They called it "The Blizzard of 2011", ever creative if you ask me. Anyway, the other times I had to stay home and babysit, do school or just didn't feel like going anywhere. Well thats not true I feel like going somewhere but have no place to go. As you can tell I'm sitting here on the computer on a Friday night :/
I might come back and blog what my dad had to tell me or if things have changed. I don't see blogging everyday..there just is simply no reason to.

My song I just finished. I know its a bit on the short side, but I kinda had writers block.
The idea of this song is to have it be a slow, I'm-having-a-moment kinda thing.
“Keep it to yourself”
Lay your head on your pillow tonight
Pull the cover up tight
Even though the sun us shinin
All there ever seems to be is rain

Keep it to yourself
Hold on
This rode won’t last to long
There’s a war goin on

Sleep tight tonight
Quiver and shake the fears away
Wipe the tears, today’s the day to

Keep it to yourself
Hold on
This rode won’t last to long-g
There’s a war goin on
Sleep tight tonight

Turn off the lights, turn up the music, take a breath
The view is blurry
No way to see I’m in a hurry
The only sight is black and white

Keep it to yourself
Hold on
This ride won’t last to long
Just go along

(C)Morgan. All the Fading Memories INC 2011.

Oh and I think I might be getting a cold. :(

Meow...

Today has been um okay I guess. Got up super early this morning to go to Target to get a bunch of stuff before the snow storm.
We now have six plus inches and still falling and won't stop until eight in the morning. Basically I'm snowed in :P I kinda like being snowed in and getting all comfy. Watching movies with Sweetpea under a fuzzy blanket or reading, but at the same time I feel very claustrophobic.
For the most of my night though (four hours) was spent writing five essays. They all had a different topic like Exposity, Symbolic etc. I'm pretty sure a few pieces of me died inside. Whatever though I'm done now and its over. (for tonight anyway. I have two more to write tomorrow.)
Oh and Hope can now make cat noises. (hint the title.)

Another day begins.

Woke up at eleven, and watched the Rose Mary parade with my mom.
I had no clue that all the floats are made out of food. It blew my mind xD
After that we all got ready to go over to my aunts house to see my second cousins and eat. Most of the time we played the Wii and this awesome game called “Just Dance 2” Lets just say dancing isn’t my thing, but I still loved the game. A couple of time we had four people playing at once. You think your doing pretty good watching the TV then after you watched the video that you family took of you it’s not pretty. I came into the party dreading it, but now I can honestly admit it was pretty fun and great seeing every body.