Nothing interesting happened today. I didn't do school, because ...I guess there wasn't a reason I just didn't feel like it. Instead I went to the pawn shop North of town and only got $60 for my keyboard, that I bought for $250. Whatever I'm just not in a good mood. I mowed the lawn and my dad and I ate dinner at Mr.Good cents. Then we picked Hope up at my aunts. Came home took a shower now I'm one here wasting time. I feel ick..like sad. I HATE feeling like this. I want to cry, but nothings comes out. I should be happy..I should love life..I should be counting my blessings. Maybe I'm just pmings or I don't know. I quit doing the 30 day challenge I'm a epic fail waiting to happen so why try. Why isn't my meditation working? ..May 30th my mom is having back surgery and I'm scared. i want nothing to happen to her. I know I act like I hate her sometimes..but i love her to death. Whitney, moved out Saturday and i miss her so bad. She called for the first time today, I told her I would call her back but I didn't. Things are awkward and weird between my cousins and me. I have no friends at all. All I want is Flame...he loves me no matter what. I love you Flame, your the best thing that has ever happened to me.
Dear Flame,
If only you knew my life was everything less then perfect. I'm scared, stupid, ugly. Everything you could never want. I thank you though for loving me for me. Even on my worst days. You were there for me and I thank you. I promise I will never leave you. My heart aches for that year and a half I left you. I will forever be yours as you will be mine. Flame, your my prince charming and I was so stupid for not seeing that.
Love me.
